Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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