The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
