So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
