There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
