How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
