Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
