OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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