Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
