Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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