Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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