No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
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I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
