Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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