Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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