I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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