on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
