brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
