"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize