I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
