Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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