There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
