I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
