I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize