apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
