I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
