I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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