turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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