Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
