suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
