I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
