dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
