NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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