You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
