and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And then he peed in my hair
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