That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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