do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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