she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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