some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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