Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
