My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
