you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
