so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
