dude i'm inner monologue high
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
