that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
you made out with another girl for some wings
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
