he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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