I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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