Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
