I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
