oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
