Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
