The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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