the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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