I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
