If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
