what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
