You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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