When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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